我们的生活

这绝对是我最爱的美剧了。每次看的时候就燃起对家庭的向往。

剧中的Randall的爸爸是一个双性恋。他内向、充满艺术细胞，情感丰沛又不失理智，我极度怀疑他也是一个infj。他的很多对白都蕴含着治愈的力量在里面。

特别是关于双性恋的部分（我惊讶于他们社会的开放程度）。我越来越觉得，其实人类不分“亲情、友情、爱情”。你与每个人的情感都是独一无二的，它们叫做relationships。对这种人来说，喜欢上一个人是一种精神需求，而对方是男人还是女人只是一种世俗的规训。

于是我愈加赞同另一半应该在朋友中产生。他不应该只是看到你的外在，就盲目的发起追求。直到热恋期已过，暴露出对方的种种缺点，发现自己无法handle this，带着失望愤然离场。

而是在不断的相处过程中，看到你的闪光点、缺点、一些感性的地方、一些小癖好和来自原生家庭的执着。就像Monica和Chandler。

就像剥洋葱一样，一层一层随着深入了解建立的relationship。如果逆向去阐释的话，这就是爱情，但我更想称之为一段坚固美好的关系。而关系是需要经营的。

所以如果你想找到人生伴侣，最好的办法是尝试让自己处在更多好的relationship里。而被这些好的relationship包裹的感觉，就是爱。

很喜欢这种温情的电视剧，每一集都是一份心灵鸡汤。忍不住去细细回味那一段段的对白，听他们娓娓道来那些故事。 第一季 第一集 Part One Dr. Katowski: okay if I keep you company a second? 卡托斯基医生：我能陪你坐会吗？ Jack: Yeah. 杰克：好。 Dr. Katowski: Okay if I try and say something meaningful? 卡托斯基医生：我能跟你分享一些人生心得吗？ Jack: Yeah. 杰克：好。 Dr. Katowski: I lost my wife last year，cancer. That's the reason I still work so much at my age. Just...trying to pass the time. 卡托斯基医生：我妻子去年去世的, 癌症。所以我这把年纪了还在卖力工作，只是想消磨时间。 Dr. Katowski: We were married 53 years, five children, 11 grandkids, but we lost our very first child, during the delivery. The reason I went into this field, truth be told. 卡托斯基医生：我们结婚53年了，五个孩子，11个孙子, 但是我们失去了第一胎，接生时夭折的。说实话这就是我从事这个行业的原因。 Dr. Katowski: I have spent five decades delivering babies. More babies than I can count. But there is not a single day that goes by that I don't think of the child I lost. 卡托斯基医生：我干接生干了五十年了。接生过的孩子多得数不过来。但还是没有哪一天我没想起我那死去的孩子的。 Dr. Katowski: And I'm an old man now. I like to think that because of the child that I lost, because of the path that he sent me on that I have saved countless other babies. 卡托斯基医生：现在我老了,我想正是因为我失去的这个孩子，因为他让我选择了这条路，我才能救回数不胜数的孩子。 Dr. Katowski: I like to think that maybe one day you'll be an old man like me talking a younger man's ear off, explaining to him how you took the sourest lemon that life has to offer and turned it into something resembling lemonade. 卡托斯基医生：我想也许有一天你会变成像我这样的老人...并向一位年轻人娓娓道来你是如何将生活带给你柠檬般的酸楚酿成犹如柠檬汽水般的甘甜。 Dr. Katowski: If you can do that, then you will still be taking three babies home from this hospital. Just maybe not the way you planned. I don't know if that was meaningful or senile, but I thought it ought to be said. 卡托斯基医生：如果你能做到，那你还是能从医院带走三个孩子，只是跟你的计划稍有偏差而已，我不知道这话是否有意义或是我老糊涂了，但我觉得我应该告诉你。 Dr. Katowski: Your wife'll still be asleep for a little while. Go see your babies. They're excited to meet their father. I think maybe they got a good one. 卡托斯基医生：你妻子还要再睡一会儿，去看你的孩子吧。他们很期待见到自己的父亲，他们也许摊上了个好父亲。 Part two Kevin: I am screwed. 凯文：我完了。 Kate: Listen, okay, Kevin… Do you remember what Dad used to say? When something crappy would happen to us? Whenever we’d get down, whenever we felt like life wasn’t going our way? 凯特：听着，凯文。还记得以前每当我们遭遇不顺，老爸是怎么说的吗？当我们失意沮丧，感觉生活不尽如人意时说的话。 Fire Policeman: Which one’s yours? 消防员：哪个是你的孩子？ Jack: Those two. 杰克：那两个。 Fire Policeman: Congrats! Twins. 消防员：恭喜啊！双胞胎。 Jack: How about you? Which one’s yours? 杰克：你呢，哪个是你的孩子？ Fire Policeman: None of’ em, actually. strangest damn thing. Someone left a newborn at my fire station. I didn’t know what to do, so I brought him here. 消防员：都不是，奇了怪了，有人把一个新生儿丢在了消防局，我不知道该怎么办就送来医院了。 Fire Policeman: Life is strange. 消防员：生活真奇妙。 Kate: Come on, Kevin. You remember, what did he say? About the lemons. There’s no lemon so sour…so sour that you can’t make something resembling lemonade. 凯特：说说吧，小凯。你记得的，他怎么说的，就柠檬那句，没有柠檬能酸到...酸到令你做不出美味的柠檬汽水 第一季 第二集 Part one Jack: Dad’s off. Deep breaths. And…First came… 杰克：爸爸要走了，深呼吸。准备…最开始… Kevin: Me! 凯文：是我！ Jack: And Dad said… 杰克：爸爸说… Kevin: Gee! 凯文：是我！ Jack: And then came… 杰克：然后呢... Kate: Me! 凯特：是我！ Jack: And Mom said… 杰克：妈妈说… Kate: Whee! 凯特：妈呀！ Jack: And then came… 杰克：最后呢... Kyle: Me! 凯利：是我！ Jack: And we said… 杰克：我们说… Kyle: That’s three！ 凯利：三个了！ Jack: Big Three? 杰克：三个小家伙? Together: Big Three! 众人：三个小家伙！ Part two Kevin: Hey, uh…is it too late out there? I know you’re usually up late, right? 凯文：现在给你打电话是不是太晚了？我记得你经常熬夜 ? Randall: No, I was just, uh… catching up on some paperwork. 兰德尔：不晚，我刚刚在赶几份文件。 Kevin: Good, uh…Hey, listen, I …I know I’ve owed you a phone call since everything went down, it’s been crazy out there, just… you know. 凯文：太好了。我知道发生那些事之后我应该给你打个电话，但因为实在太离谱了。 Randall: No. it’s all good. Kate’s kept me up to speed. 兰德尔：没关系，凯特都告诉我了 Kevin: Good… They said they’re not gonna let me out of the show, man. And I… I don’t know what I’m gonna do, like they locked me in for two more years, maybe more. 凯文：很好… 他们说绝不会让我离开剧组，而我不知道要怎么做，他们还要牵制我两年，甚至更久。 Randall: Damn. Well, what are you gonna do? 兰德尔：真糟，那你打算怎么做？ Kevin: I was kind of hoping you’d tell me. 凯文：我倒是希望你能告诉我 Randall: Oh, because you care what I think? 兰德尔：因为你在乎我的想法吗？ Kevin: Because I care what everyone thinks, man. You know that. I was not a very good brother to you, was I? 凯文：因为我在乎所有人的想法，你知道的。对你来说我不是个好哥哥，是吗？ Randall: No, you weren’t. But you’ve still got time. 兰德尔：对，你不是。但你还有时间弥补。 Kevin: Yeah, uh…Anyway, look, it’s getting late, man, I know you, I probably should go. It’s, uh… Kate’s here, it’s Randall 凯文：没错，总之，时间不早了，我该挂电话了，那个，凯特在这呢，我在跟兰德尔打电话。 Kate: Oh, hey, Randall! 凯特：好啊，兰德尔，你好 Kevin: Hey, Anyway, yeah, I - I should probably, uh…I got to go back inside and sell my should to the network like the whore that I am. 凯文：总之吧， 或许我应该回去把自己卖给电视网，就像妓女那样。 Randall: Hey, Kevin. Deep breath, okay? Come on, man, First came… 兰德尔：小凯，深呼吸，好吗？来吧，兄弟，第一个... Kevin: Me. 凯文：是我 Randall: And Dad said… 兰德尔：爸爸说… Kevin: Gee. 凯文：天哪。 Kevin: And then came… 凯文：然后是... Kate: Me! 凯特：是我！ Kevin: And Mom said… 凯文：妈妈说... Kate: Whee! 凯特：妈呀！ Kevin: And then came… 凯文：接下来是... Randall: Me。 兰德尔：是我。 Kevin: And they said… 凯文：然后他们说 Randall: That’s three. 兰德尔：三个了。 Kevin: Big three! 凯文：三个小家伙！ Together: Big three! 众人：三个小家伙! Randall: You good? 兰德尔：好点了吗？ Kevin: Yeah, I’m good, I’m good. 凯文：我很好，我很好 Randall: Kevin? 兰德尔：凯文？ Kevin: Yeah? 凯文：怎么？ Randall: Mom and Dad didn’t raise any whores. Except briefly, during Kate’s eyeliner phase. 兰德尔：爸妈可没养过什么妓女，除了凯特画眼线搞叛逆那段时间。 Kevin: Yeah. Night, little brother. 凯文：是的。 晚安，小弟。 Randall: Night, big brother. 兰德尔：晚安，大哥。 Part three Mom: What are you doing out here? 妈妈：你怎么在这里？ Jack: I don’t like sleeping far away from you. No more drinking. 杰克：我不想睡得离你太远。我再也不喝酒了。 Mom: You can’t just stop… 妈妈：这不是说戒就… Jack: I can. For you, I can. I will. 杰克：我能，为了你，我能戒，我会戒。 Jack: You know, when I was a little boy, I didn’t know what I wanted to be when I grew up, Adults always ask little kids that. You know? I never had a good answer. Not until… not until I was 28, till the day that I met you. That’s when I knew exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up, I wanted to be the man that made you happy. 杰克：我小的时候，我不知道长大后要成为什么样的人，而大人们总会问孩子这种问题。 我从没想出一个好答案，直到我28岁那年，直到我遇到了你。我才确信自己想成为什么样的人。我想成为让你幸福的男人 Mom: You make me happy. 妈妈：你让我很幸福。 Jack: Not always. Not lately. 杰克：不总是那样。最近就没有 Jack: From here on out, I’m gonna be an 11 for you, baby. No, screw that. I’m gonna be a 12 for you, from here out. I’ll be an 11 for the kids, but you get a 12. Do you forgive me? 杰克：从今以后，我要为你做到11分，亲爱的。不，豁出去了，从现在开始，我要做12分的好丈夫。11分给孩子们，12分给你。你能原谅我吗？ Mom: You slept outside our bedroom door like a Labrador. Of course I forgive you. 妈妈：你就像只拉布拉多犬一样睡在门外。我当然原谅你了。 第一季 第五集 Part one Jack: If it's between you and having kids, you win. Every time, no question. 杰克：如果要在你和生孩子之间做选择，我选你。每次如此，毫无疑问。 Jack: My father, he loved footabll more than anything, Most of the time, he-he pretty much didn't want anything to do with me. 杰克：我爸爸，他爱橄榄球胜过一切，大多时候，他根本就不怎么理我。 Jack: But…if he was watching football he let me sit and watch the game with him. 杰克：可是…如果他在看球赛，他会让我坐好和他一起看。 Jack: As long as I'd sit on the floor and I didn't talk too much. I always imagined that when I had kids that I'd watch the games with them, too. Except I-I'd let them talk...as loud as they wanted. 杰克：每当我坐在地板上时，我几乎一言不发。我总是在想，以后我有了孩子，我也会和他们一起看球赛。但是我会让他们说话，想说多大声都行。 Rebecca: I don't know what's wrong with me. 瑞贝卡：我不知道自己是怎么了。 Jack: God, there's nothing wrong with you, Bec. 杰克：你一点问题也没有，小贝。 Rebecca: All of my friends in my age have kids, every single one of them. And...maybe it's 'cause I'm still singing at Froggy's and I'm not as far along as I thought I would be. I don't know. Cause the truth is, when I close my eyes and I think about our future...I see us with kids, Jack. I just...I love our life. I love it right now. And I'm so scared of changing it. 瑞贝卡：和我同龄的朋友都有孩子了，每一个都有了，可是，也行是因为我还在青蛙吧唱歌，而且我觉得我还不够格做父母。我不知道。事实就是，每当我闭上眼，想象我们的未来...我看见我们在带孩子，杰克。我就是...我喜欢我们的生活，就喜欢现在的生活。我很怕会有改变。 Jack:I don't want to change it. Okay? I'm not gonna stand for anything changing between us. Okay? What we have together, you and me. Nothing. Look, I'm sorry about pressuring you all day. I just want you. 杰克：我不会去改变我们的生活，好吗，我无法容忍我们之间有任何改变。我们之间的感情，就你和我。什么都不会改变。我很抱歉整天给你压力，我只想要你。 Rebecca: The Steelers won the Super Bowl. 瑞贝卡：钢人队赢了超级碗。 Jack: Steelers won the Super Bowl. Bradshaw won MVP. 杰克：钢人队赢了超级碗。布拉德肖赢得了最有价值球员。（注：匹兹堡钢人队在1979-1980两连冠，布拉德肖蝉联MVP） Rebecca: My man. 瑞贝卡：我的天（男人） Jack: Yes,I am. 杰克：是，我是。 Rebecca: You are. 瑞贝卡：你是。 Part two Kevin: What if I told you a-a secret that I've never shared with anyone before? 凯文：那如果我告诉你们，一个我从没跟人说过的秘密呢？ Annie: We're listening. 安妮：说说看吧。 Kevin: Okay, all right. But you got to promise not to tell anyone though, okay? This is a private thing that I'm sharing with you. 凯文：好，行。但你们得保证不告诉别人，我要说的事很私密。 Tess: Is this about you dating Demi Lovato? Because everyone knows 苔丝：是你和黛米 洛瓦托（歌手）交往的事吗？因为大家都知道这事。 Kevin: No. Know what, it's not about Demi Lovata, and we were just friends.I just... 凯文：不是，不是黛米 洛瓦托的事，而且我跟她只是普通朋友 我... Kevin: Sometimes I paint. Now, no one knows this, not even your Aunt Kate. But when I get a script,the first thing I do is just sort of paint the way it makes me feel. I painted this after I read that play for the first time. So... 凯文：有时候我会画画,谁都不知道这事，你凯特姑姑也不知道，我拿到剧本时，第一件事就是把自己的感觉画出来，我第一次读了那个剧本后，就画了这幅画。给...。 Kevin: So, uh, you know, I though I would come up here, show you my painting, tell you what I think my play is about. Because I was thinking ,um, that it might make us all feel a little bit better. But you got to promise not to make fun of me, okay? 凯文：所以，我想过了给你们看我的画，说一下我演的那部戏的主体，因为我在想，这会让我们都好受些，但你们不能笑我，好吗？ Kevin: So, um...Yeah, I painted this because I felt like the paly was about life, you know? 凯文：那么， 我画了这幅是因为我觉得这部剧的主旨是生活。 Kevin: And life is full of color. And we each get to come along and we add our own color to the painting. You know? And even though it's not very big, the painting, you sort of have to figure that if goes on forever, you know, in each direction. So, like, to infinity, you know? Cause that's kind of like life, right? 凯文：生活充满了色彩，每个人一路走来，为生活带来了自己的颜色，尽管这幅画不是什么神作，你得琢磨出让线条持续下去，每个方向都无限延伸下去，因为这就是生活，对吧。 Kevin: And it's really crazy, if you think about it, isn't it, that, a hundred years ago, some guy that I never met came to this country with a suitcase. He has a son, who has a son, who has a son, who has me. So, at first, when I was painting, I was thinking, you know, maybe up here, that was that guy's part of the painting and then, you know, down here, that's my part of the painting. And then I started to think, well, what if...we're all in the painting, everywhere? And-and what if we're in the painting before we're born? What if we're in it after we die? And these colors that we keep adding, what if they just keep getting added on top of one another, until eventually we're not even different colors anymore? We're just...one thing. One paintig. 凯文：仔细想想，其实很不可思议，一百年前，一个我素未谋面的人带着行李箱来到这个国家，他有一个儿子，儿子又有儿子，儿子的儿子又有儿子，也就是我。所以我一开始画的时候，我当时想，也就是在这里，画中这里是这个人的起点，而我就在画的这里，然后我开始思考，如果...如果我们都在画布上呢？如果我们出生前，命运就已经被画好了呢？如果我们死后才会出现在画布上呢？我们添加的这些颜色，如果都只是相互间颜色的叠加呢？知道最后我们都变成了同样的颜色呢？我们都只是一体的，一幅画。 Kevin: I mean, my dad is not with us anymore, he's not alive, but he's with us. He's with me every day. It all just sort of fits somehow. And even if you don't understand how yet, people will die in our lives, people that we love. In the future, maybe tomorrow, maybe years from now. I mean, it's kind of beautiful, right, if you think about it, the fact that just because someone dies, just because you can't see them or talk to them anymore, it doesn't mean they're not still in the painting. I think maybe that's the point of the whole thing. There's no dying. There's no you or me or them. It's just us. And this...sloppy...wild, colorful, magical thing that has no beginning, it has no end...this right here...I think it's us. 凯文：我爸爸不在我们身边了，他去世了，但他活在我们心里，每天都活在我们心里，一切都冥冥中自有安排，即便你现在还不知道何时何地，我们爱的人终将会离世，也许在未来，也许在明天，也许几年后，其实挺美好的，如果仔细想想，就算一个人死了，就算你见不到这些人，不能再和他们说话，不代表画中没有他们的位置，我想也许这就是全部的意义所在。没有死亡，没有单独的你或我，或者他们，我们都是一体的，这幅...凌乱的，狂野的，色彩缤纷的奇妙之画，没有起点，也没有终点，这幅画，就是我们。 第一季 第六集 Part One Grace: how do you feel about holiday ties? And sport coats. Because I asked Jeremy, but he said he didn't want anything of his dad's. 格瑞丝：你喜欢节日领带吗？还有运动外套， 因为我问过杰里米了，他说不需要任何他爸爸的遗物。 Kevin: How old is Jeremy? 凯文：杰里米多大了。 Grace: Fifteen. 格瑞丝：十五岁。 Kevin:That's tough, 15 is tough. 凯文：这太残忍了，15岁的话太残忍了。 Kevin: Uh, my dad and I used to build models together, when I was a kid. Yeah, we'd build, um, planes and boats. I used to pick the most complex ones, B-52s, aircraft carries, cause they took the longest, you know? See, I was one of three kids, so you really had to strategize to get your alone time with Dad. You know, and eventually, we had a whole leet of them; We had just rows and rows, shelves of them. You know, and then when he died...I-I threw all the modes away. I threw every one of them away. I don't know why...why I did that, you know? 凯文：我小时候，我和我爸会一起拼模型，是的，我们会拼飞机，轮船，我以前总是挑最难的拼，B-52轰炸机，航空母舰，因为做这些花的时间最长，我们家有三个孩子，所以真得花心思去争取和爸爸独处的时间。最后，我们建了一整只舰队，一排一排地在架子上陈列着，当他去世以后...我把这些模型都扔掉了，我把每一个都扔掉了，我也不知道我为什么要这样做。 Grace: You were how old? 格瑞丝：那时你多大？ Kevin: Uh, it was a long time ago.I have this. This necklace, this is his and, um, it's the only thing I have left of him. And at first, you know, I didn't want to wear it, I wouldn't wear it, I wouldn't even look at it, but now it's all I have and I...I can't take it off now, so... 凯文：那是很久以前了，我还留着这个，这个项链，这是他的，我就只留了他这条项链，最开始， 我并不想戴，我不会戴，甚至都不想看，但现在...我只有这个了，我不能取下来，所以... Grace: It's okay. 没事的 Crying... Part two 杰克：你为什么要假装不会算这些题呢？ 故意在数学中考个B，不让别人知道你很聪明。 Jack: Why are you pretending not to know this stuff, huh? Getting B's in math? Not letting people see how smart you are? 兰德尔：我不想和他们不一样。 Randall: I don't want to be different from them. 杰克：和谁不一样 学校里那些孩子吗？ Jack: Different from who? Who, the kids at school? 兰德尔：如果得了A 我就有冰激凌吃，而凯特和凯文没有，他们会恨我的。 Randall: If... if I get an A, I'll get ice cream, and Kate and Kevin won't. And then they'll hate me. 杰克：我能跟你说实话吗？男人间的对话。你妈妈和我总是尽力，对你们几个一视同仁，一向如此，但并不总是有效，因为你们本来就不一样。 Jack: Can I be honest with you? Man to man? You know, your mom and me, we always try, to treat you kids the same. Always have. Hasn't always worked, because, well, you're not all the same. 杰克：你是我们领养的 我们没好好谈过这事，因为对我来说 你完全就是我儿子，也许...我不想让你觉得自己太突出，但是你得知道一件事，我希望你出类拔萃，我希望你们每一个都能，与众不同，做最好的自己，我倾尽全力爱你 孩子，你是个出众的年轻人，别让你爸卑微的想法，阻碍你展现自我，好吗？ Jack: You're adopted, and we don't talk about that enough. 'Cause to me, you are every part my son. Maybe I.. I don't want you to feel like you stand out. But I need you to know something. I want you to stand out. I want all of you to be as different, as you can possibly be. In all the best ways. I love you as much as a human heart can, kiddo. You are an exceptional young man. So don't let your dad's poor choice, make you feel afraid to be different. Okay? 兰德尔：好 Randall: Okay. 第一季 第八集 知道自己快死了是什么感觉？ How does it feel to be dying? 感觉... 就好像是生活中的美好瞬间，像碎片一样在我周围翻飞，而我在努力地伸手去抓。 It feels... like all these beautiful pieces of life are flying around me and... I'm trying to catch them. 当我孙女靠在我的腿上熟睡时，我想努力抓住她的呼吸触碰在我身上的感觉，当我逗得我儿子发笑时，我想努力抓住他的笑声，记住他放声大笑的样子，但现在这些片段飞得越来越快，快得我难以抓住，我能感觉到 它们正在从我指尖溜走，存在我记忆中 孙女的呼吸和儿子的笑声 很快就将...消失了。 When my granddaughter falls asleep in my lap, I try to catch the feeling of her breathing against me. And when I make my son laugh, I try to catch the sound of him laughing. How it rolls up from his chest. But the pieces are moving faster now, and I can't catch them all. I can feel them slipping through my fingertips. And soon where there used to be my granddaughter breathing and my son laughing, there will be... nothing. 我知道你觉得自己现在还有大把的时间，但并非如此，所以别再装得那么冷漠，把握生活中的美好瞬间，趁着你还年轻利落 把握机会，因为在不经意间 你就老了，变得步履蹒跚，那时候再想重来也没有机会了。 I know it feels like you have all the time in the world. But you don't. So, stop playing it so cool. Catch the moments of your life. Catch them while you're young and quick. Because sooner than you know it, you'll be old. And slow. And there'll be no more of them to catch. 另外 要是有位喜欢你的男孩，送你一块派，说声谢谢。 And when a nice boy who adores you offers you pie, say thank you. 第一季 第九集 Part 1 杰克：嘿 你不能在我们谈话的时候突然消失啊, 你知道 我们给了你一切,充满爱的家庭,私立学校, 我们确保你接触黑人文化, 帮助你了解自己的出身背景, 我们尽其所能给了你一切, 并且我应当对此感到感激。 Jack: Hey. You can't just disappear when we're talking. You know, we gave you everything. The most loving family. Private school. We made sure you had black influences,to help you understand your background. We gave you everything we could. 兰德尔：我应当对此感到感激, 我应当保持沉默 对于我拥有, 如此伟大的父母表示感恩, 他们在我亲生父母抛弃我的时候收养了我, 但是事实是你们也从来没想过要我。 Randall: And all I was supposed to feel was grateful. I was supposed to just shut up and be thankful, that I had these great parents, who wanted me when my birth parents didn't. But the truth is you never wanted me, either. 杰克：你在说什么？ Jack: What are you talking about? 兰德尔：我是你们死去孩子的一个替代品, 那就是我存在的意义。 Randall: I was a replacement for your dead baby. That's all I've ever been. 杰克：你完全搞错了 儿子，我的一生,都在为完美而奋斗。 Jack: You got it all wrong, son. No, I've spent my life, striving for perfection, 兰德尔：你知道为什么吗？ 爸爸。 Randall: and you know why, Dad? 兰德尔：因为我活在恐惧当中,只要我松懈那么一小会儿, 我就会想起我是不被需要的, 然后会有什么发生在我身上。 Randall: Cause I live in fear. That if I let up for a moment, I will remember that I am unwanted. And then what'll happen to me? 杰克：别这样。 兰德尔 嘿 你来这儿。 唔 别这样。 Jack: Stop.Randall. Hey, you come here.Hmm? Stop. 杰克：在我看到你的那一刻, 我就知道你是我的儿子, 你不是一个选择 兰德尔， 你是一个存在事实。 你从来都不是一个替代品 儿子。 你明白吗？ Jack: The moment I saw you, I knew you were my boy. You weren't a choice, Randall, you were a fact. You were never a replacement, son. Do you understand? 兰德尔：我只知道, 抛弃我的那个人后悔了, 他想要回我, 这就是我世界中最重要的事。 Randall: If I had known, that the man who abandoned me regretted it... that he wanted me back... that would've made all the difference in the world. 杰克：我很抱歉她对你说了谎, 但我们无法改变那个事实 所以你现在想要做什么, 你得加油 加油! Jack: I'm sorry that she lied to you. But we can't change that, so what do you want to do now? You gotta go for it, go for it. 未完待续...

已经忘了是什么机缘巧合而发现这部美剧的。

《This is us》，中文译名，《我们这一天》，或《我们的生活》。直译过来——这就是我们，似乎更贴近整部剧的精髓，它事无巨细地展示着五个人的生活。

This is real.This is love.This is life.THIS IS US

对我来说，Friends 是部epic的美剧。如果说Friends讲尽现代美国年轻人的友情、爱情、性爱、家庭、事业的个人选择，This is us则涉及到美国更多实际的问题及现象：种族、酗酒、越南战争、阶层、同性恋小孩、领养、肥胖、家暴、政治、明星，当然也涉及婚姻、亲情、性爱等等。

而每一个切面的涉及，都让我内在涌起些许温热的情愫，许是这些问题确在美国有所目睹。和豆瓣上的很多评论一样——我也几乎是每集都落点泪。不要误会了，这不是悲剧，泪水都是因感动而出。 其实，这部剧到了第三、四季已经不如第一、二季那么打动我时，我仍然忍不住把剧追完，迫切想要知道剧中人的下落，因为我曾被他们每一个人的脆弱和闪光点而打动，但也有看不惯他们作为而产生厌恶情绪的时候。他们是真实的，有血有肉。嗯，这就是这部剧的魅力。

此外，整部剧也充满着人类种种情感的思考。仔细看，也是在看人性的复杂性以及人生如何被内在信念所深深影响着。

Right. This is life and life is comlicated.

剧的开始，由四个分别过36岁生日的人展开。四个人看似毫无共同点，分别展开着自己的生活，一集下来汇成一个圈：他们是一家人。加上母亲，整部剧讲的就是这五个人的故事。

整部剧绕着父母的成长、相识再到孩子们的出生到现在而展开，时间线频繁地穿插，把不同年代的故事编织在一起，却毫无突兀感，不得不佩服这部剧的剪辑师。复杂的时间线，不用借用字幕来说明时间，人物的装扮，画面的色彩已经说明一切。不得不说，这才是精良的剧作。

Jack和Rebecca是一对人人羡慕、地球爱情典范的夫妻，相爱且甜美，诚然也经历过吵架与危机，但地球上最好的婚姻关系莫如是了。其中有一幕是，晚上他们吵架，早上起来后，R发现J在房门外睡了一宿，因为即便吵架，他也不愿离她太远。

Jack是这个家庭的核心，是剧中神一样的人物。作为breadwinner，精神层面更是家里的每位成员的坚实靠山。其实Jack出生在一个破碎的家庭，父亲是个常常家暴的酒鬼，成年后J为了保护弟弟而主动参加越南战争，却在战争中失去了弟弟。回国后，绝口不再提战争的经历，完全没钱，几乎有了上顿没下顿，命运却让他在此时遇见最美的女孩儿Rebecca.

R的举手投足都极美，生于衣食无忧的中产家庭，父亲视之为明珠。不得不啰嗦一句，和父亲关系好的女孩儿，最终婚姻都有好的归宿。虽然父母并不赞同这桩婚姻，R勇敢又敢爱，义无反顾地选择与Jack结婚，可以说，他们婚姻的每一天都是美满的，即便也有过危机，即便也有为孩子们而抓狂的时刻，但我还是无法想象地球是否还有比他们更美满更令人艳羡的婚姻。 说回到Jack，普通工薪阶层，从来把家庭看成第一位，当然他有他的挣扎和黑暗——酗酒，战争的创伤，但对待家人总是不遗余力的关心与爱，所以对Rebecca来说，还是三个孩子，Jack是完美的丈夫与父亲，是山，是天。 三胞胎在生产时，一个孩子夭折。同时医院出现了一个被抛弃的黑人孩子。夫妻决定收养这个黑人小孩，因为接生医生说了那个酸柠檬和lemonade的梗——如果生活给了一颗酸柠檬，那就把它榨成甜柠檬汁。

同个家庭的三个孩子，有着迥异的人生，而他们的个性塑造和生活轨迹都与青春时代父亲Jack的意外去世有关。在他们的人生中，一直怀念着父亲生前带给他们的爱与教导，同时又逃不出父亲忽然离世带给他们的创伤与挣扎。

Kevin，帅气高大的白人小孩，好莱坞明星，有着帅气的面孔，魅力可以让他睡到世界任何一个女人，渴望真爱却总是伤害真爱。永远深爱着小学时就相恋的初恋女友Sophie，上演与其结婚又离婚，又把她追回，再次伤害的桥段。K和父亲一样，有酗酒的问题。

K的出场

Kate，白人女孩，从小敏感，和妈妈一样喜欢音乐。小时候看着自己加大码的衣服，和妈妈M号的裙子，至此和母亲的关系变得乖戾与敌对。但母亲永远不知为何及何时她爱的小公主对她产生敌意，这种敌意父亲死后的青春期更甚。有时，人和人之间隔阂的产生是如此突兀。相反，K和父亲的关系一直很好。只是父亲忽然离世，她觉得自己失去了唯一懂得欣赏她的人。Kate愈加放纵自己，一直和肥胖问题做斗争，像一只小刺猬。

童年的Kate和父亲Jack的关系很好

Randall，被领养的黑人小孩。聪明，极其上进，关爱家人。长大后进入公司高层，家庭圆满，后参与政治成功竞选city councilman。成功的Randall因为长期太过紧绷，经历过几次严重的精神崩溃breakdown. 他似乎总在不断证明自己，不知是跟为了得到爱有关，还是为了填补对于身份迷失的空白。后来费尽心思找到生父，却说到：外面是我的梅赛德斯奔驰，我用现金买的，只是因为我喜欢，但这一切与你无关。当然这是他负气时的说法，善良的他转瞬又带着第一次谋面的生父回他的家。

Randall的身世使他永远与复杂为伴

这部剧的妙，在于讲述了三个孩子从幼年、青年、中年时期的整个家庭故事，时间线不断穿插，观众也乘坐时光机看着他们的故事和成长。 那么，这样的一部剧解答了我怎样的灵性困惑呢？

做事认真是我的优点，但我发现自己太过「精进」。更年轻的时候，我也是个有事业心及上进的人，我的目标也和大多数人一样——追求更好更多更快；进入灵性世界后，这份上进依然伴着我，大量读书、学习、更新自我、做内在功课……成长是很明显的。但却总不满足，有着永远无法填补的空白与空洞。不仅外在无法settle，内在也如是。

问题出在哪儿了呢？

在一次次的自由书写中，答案逐渐显现。问题就在于太过于精进，而不懂得放松。弹簧若是一直绷着不反弹，久而久之，就失去了反弹的能力。 太过精进的原因是，我一直想要变得「更好」，而再往深处看，这内在的根本信念是「我不够好」。因此每一个想要「更好」，都在昭示自己「我不够好」。

说回到剧情，三个孩子进入40岁，生活也逐渐理顺，Rebecca却显现出有帕金森病的症状。一个分歧由此开始。

诚如前面所说，R具有美妙的歌喉，年轻时想要做歌手，遇到J后满心投入美满家庭。从小衣食无忧，勇敢选择自己所爱。这样的她，在面对病症时，R选择与家人度过最后的时光，不愿把宝贵时间浪费在医院接受治疗。因为她是那么愿意看到并享受生活的美好。

对于这一决定，三个孩子中，Kate没有什么意见，Kevin非常支持。Kevin喜欢演戏，Rebecca喜欢唱歌，他们骨子里是自由随性的人。Rebecca做出决定后，K开车带R去看她最喜欢歌手的故居，开心地去餐厅吃饭，可以说,他们在一起seize the moment. 而Randall却坚决不同意母亲不治疗。最后，他用情感勒索的方式祈求母亲去医院接受治疗，因为他不能接受自己对家人不曾全力以赴，怕自己日后后悔。Randall的坚持，导致这个家庭第一次真正的破裂。因为他无法忍受“失去”，以及“失去掌控”，而对自己、对家人都带来了伤害。

即便如此，Randall也并不可恨，R的内心缺失与空洞，是爱他的白人父母无法填满的。

同样家庭长大的孩子，小时候的Randall学习极认真，即便暑假一家人去泳池玩耍，R也带着书；Kevin从小就喜欢fun，随意逃课，窜改试卷分数，想要的东西会想办法得到手。记得一次，小Kevin想要去收集球星卡片，Rebecca因为碎事太多而拒绝，K泄气道：you are not a fun mum(你不是个有趣的妈妈）。后来R带K去，他们一边吹着泡泡糖，一边刮卡片，是一段fun moment.

反观Kevin和Randall，我忽然对于自己的困惑有了解答。

Randall崩溃后，是Kevin来安慰

我在自由书写中写下:Relax and have fun, 这是线索。可是如何才叫Have fun呢？ Have fun , 翻译过来是，玩得开心。在美国，如果你要出去玩，家人会对你说have fun；即便是高中生出去约会，家长也会对孩子们说have fun. 中文里似乎没有这样的语境和文化。 回到我自己，怎么样才能have fun呢？还是不知如何下手。于是，我在内在智慧的帮助下，写下： How to have fun: > Be humorous > Worry free > Show your vulnerability,don't hide it> Make fun of yourself > Learn to appreciate small things > Don't makea big deal of yourself > Do what you truly enjoy> Do something stupid

幽默一点、不要把自己太当回事、懂得嘲笑自己 我把这三点放在一起，提醒我自己Don't be so serious! 一直以来我就非常严肃认真。在美国的时候，不吸大麻不抽烟喝酒不超过两杯不去夜店不纹身没有不良嗜好。如果没有做些“有意义”的事，我便觉得自己在浪费光阴。 对于任何事情我都极度认真，尤其是工作。因为这在我看来是理所当然的。记得2014年暑假刚到美国，还没到开学，我就去学校的career center开始着手改简历。 说实在的，我总在想，如果我当时不这么serious, 应该会有更多的fun moments!! 多些幽默，多些放松，不要总是那么紧绷着，不苟言笑。尤其是不要太把自己当回事。 不担忧 emmmm.... 我们总是在担心这担心那，担心自己不够好、不够努力、钱不够用、别人不够喜欢自己等等。放下，放下，通通放下。 一旦觉察到自己在担忧，把担忧甩出去，回归当下。

展现你的脆弱，而不是隐藏它 一直以来，我都非常好强。它当然帮助我达成外在的成就，但也阻挡我快乐的能力。此外，关于脆弱，从来不袒露，希望展现给外在的都是最好的一面。其实外在的生活看上去再好，作为一个人，怎么可能没有烦恼脆弱的一面呢？

在脆弱之上筑起的围栏，也挡住了快乐与爱的能力。

做自己真正享受的事情 这点说起来容易，做起来难。尤其对我来说，从小我都做对自己成长有益的事，所以，我真的不知道什么是自己truly enjoy的事情。 其实我仍十分喜爱看书、写作、看电影，但当我为了功利的原因而逼自己做这些事，久而久之，喜爱的感觉淡去了。 做事情如果能少一些目的性，专注过程，就会有真正的享受及热爱。

做点傻事儿 我们都在忙得变得聪明，变得聪明以获取更多。谁想做点傻事儿呢？ 我喜欢的作家Natalie Goldberg说，下雨了人们都在往屋内跑，想着还有健康保险才放心，只有傻瓜作家才让自己淋个痛快。若干年前，还记得一个朋友说，他在意大利旅行的时候，所有中国游客都在mall血拼，他在公园里观察蚂蚁一整个下午。

听上去挺傻，但有趣！

一直以来，我还受困于——无法找到那个终极真相，我知道真相有很多个层次，但我一心只要体悟the ultimate truth! 内在为此而焦灼，无法满足于当下的状态。

阿玛斯在《自我的真相》一书说，弄清楚我是谁，这件事对“真我”没有任何好处，它无法为真我带来任何改变。但是对你的头脑而言，这件事却会带来很大改变，因为除非能找到答案，否则你的头脑是无法安歇下来的……疑问会继续存在，直到没有任何疑问为止。

剧中，Randall的大女儿Tess发现自己是蕾丝后，本就在青春期的她变得更加困惑，对于终极问题「我是谁」有着更深的焦灼感。有一天叔叔Kevin来访，Tess对他吐露心声："I thought coming out to you guys would be the hardest part, but instead, I just have a million more questions about myself. Like what clothes make me feel like the real me? What books should I be reading? What movies should I be seeing? When will I finally decide to tell my friends?"我以为向你们出柜是最难的事情，但其实，我还有一百万个关于我自己的问题，比如什么衣服穿起来让我更像我自己？我该读什么书？我该看什么电影？我什么时候该告诉我朋友真相？

Uncle Kevin and Tess

没想到平时看起来吊儿郎当的K对Tess说了也让我极为受益的话： "I've never been through what you're going through right now . . . so I'm not gonna sit here and pretend like I know how you're feeling, OK? Because I don't," he said. "But this whole idea of not really knowing who are you are deep down inside? That's my life story . . . One thing that I have learned? I don't think we figure out exactly who we are all at once. I think it happens over a long period of time, like piece by piece."He continued: "Take me for instance: A couple years ago, I get close with your dad and I find a piece of myself. And then I meet your aunt and I find another piece of myself. Honey, I think that's sorta how it works, you know?I think we go through this life slowly but surely, just collecting these little pieces of ourselves that we can't really live without until eventually we have enough of them we feel whole."

“我从来没有体验过你此刻的经历，我不会坐在这里假装我懂你的感受，因为我不懂。但是，关于我们不知道我们内在深处的自己到底是谁，我有自己的故事，我学到的事情是，我认为我们无法一次性地了解到我们到底是谁。我觉得，它发生在很长的时间段，就像拼图一样一片一片地（找到）。 比如，几年前，我和你爸爸关系更近了，我找到自己的一个碎片。然后我又遇到你的阿姨（K当时的约会对象），我又找到一个碎片。亲爱的，我觉得事情就是这样运作的，你懂吗？ 我认为，我们十分缓慢地经历着自己的人生，但总会一片一片拾起关于自己无法割舍的碎片，直到最终，我们感觉到完整。”

～The End～

•photos from Unsplash•